The SS Virus
by Harmonic Friction
Summary: Lily Evans has a secret. She thinks about it all the time. And she can't get any sleep at night. weird drabble on Severus and Lily, as a sickening obsession


**infec_tion_**

Lily Evans, such a hard working girl. (_but do her parents know_?) she works so hard to provide these **smiles **that they **desire so** Petunia can say what she wants when she wants and she wants it but Lily is a hard working girl.

Brush back flame bangs and smile at James. Turn away from these voices that silently call _help. _That has nothing to do with your pretty green eyes, so pretty lily, you may turn away.

_(you work so hard to forget)_

James Potter is an asshole but, hey why not? I mean, it's seventh year and there's nobody else so go out for blue coloured ice cream and giggle at all of his jokes. he wants to suck your raspberry-printed tongue so you willingly part your lips. (_you want to glue down his stupid messy hair) _

_Lily, lily, lily._

_(why do you give him the satisfaction of being right when he's wrong? and why do you follow when you're such a good leader? you never would have considered it before._

_perhaps Miss Evan's individuality just doesn't count for **shit **anymore.)_

And Potter's pretty decent on a broom; I could be mistaken but I heard you** rode his broom**, too. You know you can't hide, can't hide, from what you want to forget.

Lily bats her eyelashes and with a shudder recalls the Winter Ball. It was like some crazy, poison trip that seemed like it was from a book but never real. The glowing lights, the smiling faces, _what a pretty dress, _and Lucius simpering while kissing some intimidated Hufflepuff boy's nose. He was faking it, like her, with his arm around Narcissa the next moment. He gave her an understanding look that told her she was exactly like him. She ignored him searched for Severus. She imagined him in his dorm room, doing his homework and avoiding all of this artificial bullshit like she should have done. James made an imprint on her neck with his mouth and suggested they go _somewhere more private. _She kept saying _But I love this song_, untl they got outside and she muttered that she'd never really loved it anyway.

Lily figured later that this should have been a time when her thoughts were cleared: no dirty nails, no pale skin, no long black hair. Just the grinning jock in her mouth, but she kept thinking about Severus all the while and she thought she would be sick.

so it was all settled and done. they were official. she wanted it to be perfect but it was almost the opposite.

_(I have black hair, it's long and it's greasy and you hate me, but when you go to bed at night you stay awake and you can't stop twitching your fingers. You know you find me repulsive, so why do you always twitch your fingers?)_

Lily Evans, such a hard working girl but no matter how hard she tries every time she closes her eyes _(I think her disguise needs a little less make-up)_ she can never stop thinking of running her hands though his hair. She doesn't want **you **she wants **nothing **desolate nothing can be awkwardly pretty.

Lily **WILL NOT** think about Severus, no, because just this morning he got shoved in the mud and his eyes were so empty and his pale skin was streaked in dirt.

She won't ever think about that disgusting Snape _but he's disease she cannot forget she has._

Evans licks her lips in Charms class, staring at what is showing of his face over the top of his book and she wonders if his skin feels as greasy as everyone says it looks. She thinks she should be disgusted, but she's not through looking- she's really quite fascinated with his furrowed brow. He places his book down, sensing a stare. She turns, thinking about the way he grits his teeth like mad when he's nervous or angry. He's always gritting those teeth.

And Lily can't think about Severus Snape because just last week his face was twisted in hate because James Potter shoved him down and Lily tried to frown but all she could muster was a _smile_._ (stuck up **bitch**)_

She tried hard to pretend that she didn't just smile and walk away.

But she couldn't pretend hard enough today.

Such a pretty disease, yes, well after class, she ran up to Snape and she pulled off the band-aid so hard that it hurt

_**(good.)**_

And she let It

infect her.

**end**


End file.
